Thursday, May 24, 2007

The Road Back to Delhi

Namaste to you all, the journey back to Delhi was certainly interesting. India was going to test me right up until the last minute that I left her shores. I'd caught a little bus from Omkareshwar, and for once it wasn't overloaded thank god. While on the bus many thoughts were running through my head, you see one of the biggest problems I had was that I didn't really know how much money I had in the bank. For some reason all the teller machines I had been using weren't giving me a balance of my account.

So I sat there contemplating, do I take the chance and go to Varanasi one of the most famous cities in all of India and not be able to get home or just keep heading towards Delhi and be happy and contented that I've had such an amazing five months travelling and it was time to go home?. Well I made a decision when I finally arrived in Indore, Delhi it was, I had to get as deep as I could and be sure of the decision that I was making. How do I get what I believe is the best decision in most occasions? I use three methods and some other little techniques and just go with that. I believe one of the biggest keys when making a large decision is once you've made it, go with it whole heartedly and if in your mind at the end of it, thinks it didn't really unfold the way you thought it would, make sure you don't beat yourself up about it, because that's the worst thing you could possibly do. As we all know things are alot easier in hindsight, accept that when you've made the decision and that you made it doing the best you could with the information you had at your disposal at the time.

Number one rule, NEVER EVER MAKE A DECISION OUT OF FEAR!!! I'll tell you now if ever you make a decision out of fear, I'm pretty certain that it will be a hard road. Yes, you might get the end result you were looking for, but I guarantee it would have taken longer and you would have suffered more then if you had made the decision out of love. The next thing I do is try and get into a meditative state or at lease try to be in a quite space. Once I'm in this space I simply ask, 'what is for my highest good?, is it better for me to go down this path or that path?. Now for me most of the time I get a quite, loving voice suggesting a certain way to go. This voice I believe is my higher self or god presence, now some of you would say, 'oh well that's alright for you I don't get anything and I've tried so many times', well like anything in this world and like the old saying goes, 'the more you practice the better you'll become'. I say to alot of people who tell me they want to be able to 'speak to their higher self, see clairvoyantly and have this gift and that gift', 'I tell them that each and everyone of us possess all of these and that they are just like our muscles in our bodies, the more you use them the stronger they become, its a natural thing'.

So if you want to have a strong connection to your higher self or god if you like, start today getting in that quite space and simply ask, 'what is for my highest good in this situation?which path is best for me, that offers me the most ease and grace? You don't have to use these one's you might have a few of your own and certainly if you feel you might have better one's write a comment. Now I feel I should tell you and this certainly might not happen, usually when I hear of people trying out this exercise for the first time and I know it happened to me, one of the first big issues that arises is 'Trust'. I believe the mind kicks in straight away as a defence mechanism and starts to panic, why? because your mind feels its losing its control, it has been running the show for most of our lives. So once we bi-pass the mind and go straight to the higher mind, the little mind starts to go into fear. Why? because when it comes to decision making, I believe our mind usually comes from a space of fear or survival and believe me when when I tell you, when we all realize that we weren't put on this earth to survive, we were put on this earth to flourish and it's our god given right to, if we all realized this law, this world will be alot better place.

I find that one of the best ways to start anything new is to take baby steps first. Start with small decisions for example, when your driving to a new place and your not familiar with the area, put the street directory away on some occasions and simply ask which way do I go, left or right? Try it on anything and before you know it, you'll find that you can clearly distinguish what is from the positive, loving higher mind and what is from your egoic mind. That's all you have to remember that your higher mind will always use loving and positive words and suggest things to you, your personality mind or egoic mind will always come from fear, use negative words and the biggest give away is when the voice uses words like you should and shouldn't.

One of the other methods I use if I'm not getting anything on a situation, is when I ask a certain question, I feel how my energy changes. So if my energy or even better my heart chakra, feels expanded, uplifted, then I know that in most cases it's for my highest good and vice versa, if my energy feels restricted and my heart feels as if it has closed then I don't follow that decision. Now back to my story, I get a little bit side tracked sometimes, oh alright I admit it side tracked big time. My higher self suggested that it would be best for me to go back to Delhi, I can always come back to India at a later date and see places I didn't get to see this time, I took the last little part that I would be back in India for sure one day.

I arrived at Indore train station just in time to get the only train that day to Delhi. I only had to wait about an hour and a half or so, for it to arrive, this certainly was a good omen I thought as I walked up the stairs to the ticket office. Indore certainly was a dusty, crowded city, it was one of those cities that you just past through in India and if you can try to spend as little time as possible. I rounded the corner of the platform and to my surprise there weren't really that many people waiting in line, 'how good is this thought' as I counted only six people in front of me.

I couldn't see the normal sign that is displayed above each counter, it reads something like this,"war veterans, foreign tourists and disable people line up here", (there's probably a few more in that list). Anyway I stood in a line where I could see old men and women. Even though it took fifteen minutes just to serve six people, I knew I had plenty of time. If I was a fly on the wall it would have been quite amusing to watch the events that unfolded for me over the next hour or so.

It always makes me laugh when we look back and yes there's that magic word hindsight, at how we acted or reacted to certain situations that are obviously there to test us. There I was all happy and positive that I'd made the right decision, saying to myself 'look how easy this is flowing, isn't life fantastic how it all flows when we're in our hearts', etc, etc. Then as usual for me and maybe alot of you out there, all of the universe conspires together with all the angels, ascended masters, the higher selves of the people you are about to come in contact with and I'm sure they all get together, grab their popcorn, maybe even a choc-top and sit back and enjoy the show that is just about to play out. I'm sure they have angel scouts out looking for it, red lights go off in heaven sirens sound, this one thinks he's got it again, everyone in position lets see how much of it he's actually got, let's give him a test and see how he acts.

Well finally I arrived to the front of the counter all smiles, all happy about all the time I've got to spare, 'one ticket to Delhi, please Gee'(means sir in Hindi) he smiles and points to his left at another counter right down the other end. With that smile still on my face I casually swing my head across to where he was pointing, well with in a spilt second that smile was wiped off my face, the line he was gesturing to had about fifteen men in it and at the front of the line there was a big argument.'Oh no, no', I said, 'I'm a tourist' with my smile returning to my face and my chest filling up as though I was someone special. 'Where's the special line that I have been in so many times before?', 'we don't have one', the man behind the counter said in broken English, 'that's it'.

I grabbed my bags in a huff and went across to the line, I took a deep breath and thought I've still really got plenty of time, no worries. Nearly One hour had passed by and I tell you now it wasn't pretty, the constant swinging around looking back at the clock the winging to my fellow passengers about how hard I've been done by and that my train was coming soon and if I don't get on that train all hell was going to break loose and so on and so on. Yep people it was pretty ugly, well finally I was two off the front of the line and was starting to calm down and yep you wouldn't believe it, while I was chatting to a young Indian man,(when I say chatting, bitching was probably a better word to use) the old man issuing the tickets put up a small sign saying 'Be Back in Ten Minutes', well it wasn't just me this time crying out, everyone was in on it. The man at the front of the line screamed out like a wild animal. "WHY?" the little old man turned back and said the computers were down and off he shuffled.

At this time I think the hole congregation of angels, God and everyone else would have been laughing their heads off, watching how my whole personality was reacting to what was unfolding before their eyes. I now only had half an hour to catch my train and I was getting pretty worried that it wasn't going to happen. Then you can guess what was going through my head, 'oh have I made the right decision?', 'why would my higher self lead me to go to Delhi when it's become so hard and it's now showing me that I'm suppose to go to Varanasi?', I thought. Then within and instant the computers came back on line it had only been a couple of minutes. Great I thought there's my answer, Delhi it is.

Finally I got to the front of the line, 'one first class ticket to Delhi please', I said, by this time I'd calmed down and was actually starting to laugh at myself, as I took myself above the whole scene I witnessed how I dealt with whole experience, the test that was placed before me, I didn't fair to well I thought. I smiled again at my antics, which is important to do. Next thing the old mans voice interrupted me, 'one thousand, one hundred and fifty rupees', he said with a big grin as though he knew something that I didn't. Hey I thought to myself, the Lonely Planet said the ticket was one thousand rupees, and yep you guessed it, I only had one thousand rupees on me, with my whole being coming crashing down with a thud, 'WHATTT?', he repeated to me again, 'yes, yes' I said, 'but I don't have the extra one hundred and fifty rupees', 'well sir, he said with an even bigger smile on his face, 'you'll have to go to the bank and get some more money then wont you', Those words were like he had a knife in my heart and gave it a final turn.

All I could do is laugh, nothing more, nothing less. I don't know if any of you had been in a situation like this before, or it only happens to me every now and then, but if I look at that type of laughter that was coming out of my mouth, I'm sure it sounds like I'm crazy. The nice young Indian behind me said that he would allow me to get in the front of the line if I hurry to the bank. Twenty minutes and counting, I ran out of the train station down to the bank, bags flying everywhere. Of coarse every beggar, car and auto rickshaw in Indore suddenly appeared between the railway station and the bank. I dragged myself to the teller and yes you also guessed it, an old Indian gentlemen was at the machine fiddling around, thank god he didn't take long. I grabbed my money ducked in and out of traffic, jumped, dodged and swerved around what seemed like every beggar in India had come to that very spot, flying around the corner, apologizing to a group of women that I nearly trampled over. I ran to the front of the line, where my little Indian friend had persuaded everyone to wait, I handed the man my money with a smile, he nodded back with a big grin showing all his full set of brown teeth and off I went with ten minutes to spare.

I sat down on my bed nodding to my fellow passengers, if they'd only known what I'd just been through, if they'd only known that this smiling Westerner had not to long ago been acting like a something like the creature out of the Black Lagoon. So I sat back and started to read my only book I had at the time, "God I AM", by Peter O, E'Baire(I think that's how you spell his name). It's one of, if not the best books I've ever read. I opened it to a page and as usual it talked about what I'd just experienced, my smile returned. As I write this I realize that I've fallen for the illusion of life again, in other words I've taken my circumstances serious again, instead of flowing with life the past week, I've started to get entangled and fight my way through it, thank god that this came up at the perfect time to rise above the situation I find myself in and see it for what it really is and I can laugh and smile once again.


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