Sunday, December 23, 2007

Merry Christmas - The Reflection

Aloha to you all, a merry Christmas and a happy new year, to you and all of your loved ones. It's that time again, when the big fat fella in the red suit , comes down your chimney and maybe gives you a present or two.

Boy does life sail by in a flurry, I remember if it was only yesterday, writing and article in India, wishing you all a merry Christmas, It feels like only yesterday. Well what a year it's been, there's not been to many people, that I've talked to over the past few weeks that have commented on, what a huge year it's been.

Looking back on it, it's been an amazing year of growth and understanding for myself and I guess for alot of people. Some of it seems a lifetime ago and some of it seems only yesterday.

Reflecting on it on a deeper level for myself, the year 2007 was all about healing wounds around my childhood or patterns if you like. As well as understanding on a deeper level about relationships with myself first and foremost, then partners and everyone else that has come into my life over the past year.

Since arriving back in Byron I've been fully aware and conscious of when ever someone comes into my space to really be present and know that they have a gift of some sort for me, in the words that they speak. Its been such a wonderful thing to be experiencing. There hasn't been a single person that hasn't offered me a gift yet and I know that by thanking them straight away, when I realise the whole reason that they have connected with me, I hope they to can take something from me. This whole universe is all about giving and receiving and all levels, in all situations and it's going on all the time, JUST BE AWARE.

I realised once I arrived in Byron, why I lived on the Sunshine Coast, a place that I never wanted to live. The main gift the universe was presenting me was to once and for all release my fear and anger I had, regarding my childhood. Months ago it occurred to me, that the main reason that I was again living near my mother and father was simply to heal things from my childhood with them. I believe most adults are walking around still carrying their childhood wounds, still playing out their childhood patterns. Most people, most of the time, in most situations come from childhood experiences, mainly hurtful ones. They say in the first seven years of a humans life is what shapes us for the rest of our lives. I believe this to be true, although there are exceptions, when a person becomes awake and aware that there's more to life then just, working, eating, sex and sleep.

You see since I was eighteen I've realise on some level that I needed to work through my stuff, surrounding my childhood. That the way I acted and re-acted in my life was a result of my upbringing. So since I was eighteen I've tried it all, from re-birthing, to etherically calling in my father and speaking my truth from my inner child point of view. Now all these things might have worked on some level, but it wasn't until a friend pointed out to me this year that it needs to be done on a physical level, for it to really be cleared.

So a few weeks before i left the Sunny Coast, I finally did it. I sat down with my father and did a few processes. The first one I was guided to do, was to ask him about his upbringing, about his life. You see this is my stepfather and I've known him since I was four years old, in saying that though I never really knew him. I sat him down and said that I've known you for thirty two years dad, but I know nothing of you. How many of you out there know what your parents lives were like, what they experienced as a child, as a teenager, as an adult. Well I tell you now the stories I had in my head about my father were alot different to what he proceeded to tell me.

I was very surprised to say the least of what he had to tell me about his life. There's one huge thing ,that I did learn though and that was, finally getting to know the man who had a big influence in my life. I understood alot more about him and why he acts and reacts the way he does, it was a true blessing. After he had finished I thanked him and then told him that I'd like to do another process with him, regarding my childhood and up bringing. I explained that I didn't want in sorrys or him to feel any guilt, I just want him to listen and that I was going to speak for my inner child to him.

I sat there and explained to him how I felt as a child and that how I have kept alot of pain in me throughout my life. I tell you all now, as I was talking I could feel myself getting lighter and lighter. It's hard to explain, if you can imagine, it was like with every word I spoke, energy was releasing out of my being. I cant stress enough to you all, how freeing it is to release these wounds we carry from our childhood. If you can do it, if your parent or parents are open to this process, go for it, if you love yourself enough, if you want to really let go of your baggage, if you want to be free, then do it.

Even if you cant do the second process, do the first, it's a wonderful gift as an adult to learn about the people that brought you into this world, or the people who raised you. The key is to remember its not a blaming session, try to remain as calm as possible, speak from your heart. The end result of this process for me, was that in my heart I feel I have finally let go of my fears and anger. The other blessing I received is a stronger bond between me and my father and if that's all I got from it, then what a gift that is.

Before I did the process I told some friends what I was going to do, one of my friends is a physiologist. To my surprise when I explained what I wanted to do, she then told me that, from a physiologists point of view, WHEN AN ADULT CAN SIT DOWN AND DO A PROCESS LIKE THIS OR SIMILAR, THEN THEY FINALLY BECOME AN ADULT IN THE TRUER SENSE, WE RELEASE THE PAIN THAT WE CARRY AS A WOUNDED CHILD. When she explained this to me I knew I had to do it, why wouldn't you.

I hope that this may encourage some of you to do the same, again we only have this lifetime, don't leave it till its to late. Be bold in your life, take risks, I believe that's what the universe wants us to do. Experience all you can, because it's only through experience that we can heal and remember who we truly are and that is 'DIVINE SPARKS OF GOD'.

I thank everybody who has been apart of my life this year from my fantastic friends, to my lovers and family , I thank you all from the centre of my heart for playing out your parts so well, for me to remember what's most important in life, 'LOVE'. To all my friends that supported me through the hard times, I am truly blessed to have you in my life.

To all of you who read this, may you be blessed with love, light and laughter of the highest form over this festive season, may all of your lives and paths be showered with joy, ease and grace.