Recharging Your Relationship
Recharging Your Relationship
by Chris Widener
Now you may ask why we would write an article about developing better relationships.
The reason is because I believe that those who are in a relationship will
be significantly and directly affected in all areas of their life by how
that relationship is going, and how healthy that relationship is.
Research has proven that those who are happy at home are more productive
and less stressful at work. Developing a better relationship with your
mate can help you develop a better life and a better business! Here are
some thoughts to chew on for developing a strong and healthy relationship
with your mate.
Communication is the key to a lasting relationship and listening is the
key to communicating. Too often when we are quiet we are not listening,
but waiting to speak. Instead of listening to what our mate is saying,
and intently trying to understand them, very often we are making mental
notes of what we would like to say in response. This is particularly true
for us males. We often are trying to find the weakness in our mates
argument, rather than really listening to the words that they're saying
and the manner in which they're saying it. Why not take some time this
week trying to internalize and understand your mates words and feelings?
Schedule a regular time to go out or spend time together.
With todays busy lifestyles, it is too easy to put our relationships
on the backburner and take them for granted. While we might have every
intention of spending regular time with our mate, we often find ourselves
driven by a schedule that has us running in every direction and leaving
us little time for our most important relationships. Work gets in the
way. The kids get in the way. Our hobbies get in the way. We need to realize
the value in the importance of that relationship with our mate and its
effect on our total life. Then we need to make spending time with our
mate a major priority by scheduling a specific time at least each week
to get alone together, talk, and simply renew our relationship. Be sure
to set some time aside each week to rediscover each other and enjoy your
time together. Pencil it into your schedule and dont give up that
spot. In fact, it is probably best if you and your mate sit down and decide
what night will work each and every week, then put it into your daytimer.
If someone asks you if you're available at that time, you tell them you
already have an appointment. In the long run, that time that you spend
with your mate will help you to become more of a success than you could
Consider your mates interests more important than your own.
When each person has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form
a reciprocating relationship of love, concern, and devotion. When you
come to a place where you disagree or where the two of you have differing
opinions, try to get to the point where you can consider what your mate
likes as more important then what you would like to do. The simple decision
to do this goes a long way toward developing a healthy relationship!
Learn your mates love language.
There is a lot of talk recently of love languages. What this is, is that
each individual has certain ways they receive love from other people.
Some people like to have time spent with them. Others like gifts, small
or large. Still others respond best to personal touch. And others appreciate
verbal affirmation. Our tendency is to show love the way that we like
to receive love, but what will recharge our relationship fastest is to
find out what way our mate likes to receive affirmations of our love.
To next time you get a chance to speak to your mate, ask them which of
the above ways they like best to receive your demonstration of love. Then
make a conscious effort to begin showing your love to them in that manner.
Do the small things you did when you first fell in love with your
Do remember when you were first in love? Remember the small things you
did show your love to your mate? But as time went along, you probably
began to get weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small
things that made the difference in the beginning. Things like a phone
call in the middle of the day just to talk or say I love you,
an appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Re-charge your
relationship by consciously going back and doing the small things that
you did when your love first began to grow.
I've done a lot of work with couples were having troubles, and one of
the most common elements I find that is working against the development
of their relationship is that they are holding something against the other
and they aren't willing to forgive. The fact is that your mate is going
to fail you from time to time. We need to understand that. What we do
when we get to that point however, is what will make all the difference
in the world. In a relationship that is going to last, the people involved
are committed to forgiving one another. Those whos relationships
last longest, and will be the healthiest, are those who are committed
I hope these thoughts are helpful to you in recharging your love relationship.
I truly believe that if we will put these principles into practice we
will see our relationships grow in ways they never have before, and that
in turn will make our whole life better
Chris Widener is a popular speaker and writer as well as the President
of Made for Success and Extraordinary Leaders, two companies helping individuals
and organizations turn their potential into performance, succeed in every
area of their lives and achieve their dreams. Join subscribers in over
100 countries around the world! Get Chris' FREE weekly Made for Success
Ezine by sending a blank email to firstname.lastname@example.org. Get his FREE
daily SuccessQuote with action point by sending a blank email to
SQ@infogeneratorpro.com. Get his FREE monthly Extraordinary Leaders Ezine,
one of the world's most widely distributed leadership newsletters, by
sending a blank email to email@example.com or visit his websites
Copyright 2002 Made for Success. Used by permission. All rights reserved
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